Another call

Well, another shift has come and gone. And another life was changed.

We got a call for motorcycle accident, unresponsive and turning blue. It took less than 2 minutes to get on scene and first responders were already doing CPR. Perfect scenario right… wrong.

As a paramedic, our job is very stressful. However, I have tried to learn to deal with it. My husband is also a paramedic, so I can talk to him about it, and my partner is a good outlet for me too.

Back to the call…. We got on scene and first responders were doing CPR. We boarded the patient and got in the ambulance. We started first with airway. Intubation complete. At the same time, others were starting IV’s. Searching for injuries. Attaching the cardiac monitor and defib pads… He was in PEA. It was a witnessed arrest, so we started pacing.

We got capture and started pushing drugs. Everything going to plan. Less than 10 mins on scene and 5 more to the ER.

Everything done right, but still, the same outcome. Dead when we got there and dead when we left. We tried, very hard. Everything went right, but still unable to get him back.

Can’t win them all…. but we keep trying.

Bringing up Boys— A Book Review

Now, I don’t know if I’m supposed to do this, but I’m gonna.

I am reading a book called “Bringing Up Boys” by Dr. James Dobson.
I was frustrated with my new parenting, and my sister suggested I buy this book. It explains SO MUCH! Boys are wired so differently than girls. They are genetically wired to see things differently than we do. It all goes back to primal instincts and learning to provide for their family. It is very important for a boy to have a man to look up to. And who knew that the rough housing and calling each other a “girl” had purpose.

It talks about how boys do things without thinking, and how we… as mothers…. can help them become men. It gives in insight for single parents and grandparents raising their grandchildren. It also helps with discipline. What works and why it works, and why something isn’t working!

So far, it has helped tremendously. I can’t wait to finish it. I’ll keep you posted on the progress.

I’m Back, Thanks Again

I know that I haven’t written in almost a week, but not many of you read it anyway and I already needed a break. After my call last week, I had a rough time. I was trying to make some sense out of it. Thing is…. there isn’t. I’ve got a wonderful support group. At home and on adoption.com. I just want to take a second and thank those who have helped me, and prayed for me. The little girl is still alive, last I heard. I don’t know about quality of life, but at least she still has a shot. I think that if we can get approval from her parents that the other medic and I are going to take a road trip to see her. To see for ourself. I don’t know how that will turn out, but if we take the trip I will be sure to let ya’ll know (and by ya’ll, I mean both of my readers…lol). Anyway, trying to get alot of stuff done around here. Getting ready for yet another extra shift. We will see how that one goes too… Thanks again!

A Bad Day at Work

As many of you know, I am a Paramedic. I was supposed to be off today, but they called me in and I went. It was supposed to be a short 10 hour shift, and then come home to my new family.

About an hour before I got off we got a call for a car down an embankment. Someone got on scene before we did and advised we had two patients. An adult who was walking around and a child that was “pretty bad”.

When we got on scene, the SUV was more than 40 feet down in a gully. The vehicle had overturned and the child thrown out. She is three years old.

It took me two full minutes to climb down the steep embankment to get to her. She was unresponsive from a very significant head injury. My partner was up at the top and the loyal firefighters that were volunteering made sure that everything I needed was handed down the hill. I was working very quickly to try to clear her airway for this little girl. Her daddy was down there with us, with minor injuries, crying hysterically, and pleading for me to help her. I was working as fast as I could. He was apologizing to her for not putting her in her carseat. It was only a short trip. She made it to the hospital, but the prognosis is grim. Please pray for this little girl and her family.

And please, please, please put your child in their carseat, even if you’re only going a mile. You never know what could happen.

I’ve been to calls like this before, different child, same story… but I guess that this one hit harder because of the finalization yesterday. I came home and hugged my little one, oh so tight!

Also, please pray for the EMS and Fire guys who show up, many for free, to help these people. Sometimes it’s hard to sleep at night.

Adoption “Gotcha Day”

Well, today was wonderful. Any of you that have been reading my posts will know that today was our adoption finalization in court. We adopted Pliglet and he adopted us. He chose us just as much as we chose him. Now, I am not niave enough to think that he would have chosen us over his birth parents, but he was at least given the option to accept us or not. We would have continued to love him and keep him here without the finalization process if that is what he chose. He was already our son to us, before the legal proceeding today.

We were very nervous and he got to wear his tie. He was very anxious to get it over with, even got ready early. He even hugged his caseworker today!

We walked into the court room and found our seats. They let my mother attend, which was very nice for us. Hubby and I were called to give testimony and they asked us the usual round of questions. They also asked us about his special needs and how we dealt with them. The GAL stood us and gave us a rave review. (Which pleased me immensely!) The judge granted the adoption, and our attorney asked could Pliglet have a picture with the judge. He was excited to participate in memorabilia, took his glasses off, and gave a big smile so he “wouldn’t look too stern” (he said).

We asked him if he wanted to tell the judge anything, and he said… “I got a lost tooth, wanna see?” Of course the judge said sure and took the time to look into my childs mouth! HA HA HA

I was so impressed with our judge!

We spent the rest of the day just hanging out and being a new family! It was wonderful!

Adoption Finalization

Tomorrow is the day. The BIG one. The one we’ve all been waiting for.

Tomorrow is the day we finalize the adoption of Pliglet into our family. All of us are very excited. Pliglet especially. He has been preparing for weeks. He has picked out his clothes and refuses to wear a shirt I picked out, because we don’t have a tie to match it. I know… I know… he’s only five. What does he know about ties? Well, what we’ve figured out is that he’s never had one, and he wants to wear it to see the judge.

Everyday that we pass the courthouse, we talk about the judge who will make him an official part of our family, and make us a part of his. We also talk about what might be said in the courtroom. He knows the judge will ask him questions and that he will need to answer them truthfully. We tell him the judge may ask him if he wants a new mom and dad. He said he would tell him NO! I want to stay with YOU forever! So sweet… I asked him if he wants to tell the judge anything special… His reply was Yep… I got a loose tooth. I guess when you’ve waited as long as he has, its your half hour, you can tell him anything you want.

I hope tomorrow will be a wonderful day. It has been awaited for a long time for us. To have a child of our own, to share our love with. I know it may not be as wonderful for him, he may see it as a loss of his birthfamily. I think he is beginning to understand the concept of adoption, and what it means, though sometimes, its hard to tell.

I only hope that I can be the mom that I strive to be. So tonight is the last night that we go to sleep as a foster family. We have strived to make it a good one. We are excited that we are adding a son, our son. I think he strives for the stability. We have done the preparations, so that we are ready in the morning. We are nervous, but the good kind. Excitement is the word I’m looking for. It’s a wonderful feeling. One I wish for everyone reading. The feeling of being a parent… And in the words of my friends on adoption.com….. baby dust to everyone!

God lives in the hamper?

When we met Pliglet, he hadn’t been to church. I don’t know what the religious preferences of his birth family are, so I can’t honor them. Because he was placed in foster care, he seems to have lost that part of himself.

We go to church pretty regularly. We aren’t religious fanatics, by any means, but we say prayers, grace and talk daily about God. When Pliglet got here, he didn’t know anything about God or religion. He didn’t know a blessing or how to say his nightime prayers. He now does and is very proud of himself!

One night, after he’d been here about a week, he told me he was scared to go to sleep. We started talking about God and how he watches over us to keep us safe. He started asking a bunch of questions about God and what he did and where he lived. I explained he was in Heaven and that God lived there, but could see everyone, all of the time, we were all his children, and just like we keep him safe, God keeps everyone safe. Well, his Daddy came in to say goodnight and he was so proud! He blurted out… “Daddy, ya know what? God… he is everywhere and watches us all the time, and ya know what else…. he lives in the…..ahhh….ahhh…. hamper!”

Well, I busted out laughing. He knew it was an “H” word and he was close. We explained it was heaven and he said “OOOHHHH!”

He doesn’t get it right all of the time, but he’s getting the concept. Just two nights ago, I heard him singing in the bathtub…”God is good, God is good, God is good, is good to me.”

It feels good when your getting it right!

Pliglet?

Now why would I call myself Pligletmama? There is a story behind it of course. When T was brought to us, he had a lot of adjusting to do. Who wouldn’t? Our family is very busy, always. The first week that T was here, we took him to his first ball game. I don’t mean a major or even minor league ball game. I’m talking rec ball. My nephews play ball and we are very active in each other’s lives. He was amazed! Even with ADHD, he sat and watched the whole game! Now my sister was at the ballfield, and T is (at this point) still trying to figure everyone out. Here down south, everybody is either called “Dude” or “Bo”. Well, my Mom called him dude and he very quickly said “I ain’t no dude”. So my sister started picking on him. She asked “Can I call you pumpkin?” “No”, he said. She then asked, “What do you want me to call you?”…. Without hesitation he yelled. “PIG!” She said “You’re to little to be a pig, more like a piglet.” He grinned and with his speech impedement he said “Yeah, Pliglet.” And in that moment… Pliglet was born… LOL

The Leap Part

What else could we do? We of course said we wanted to meet him! Keith was very apprehensive, felt that social services was lying to us. He felt they were setting me up for more heartbreak. And I can’t say that I blame him. Me (like most other women) would jump headfirst into whatever placement they threw at us, being very anxious and impatient.

He told me to do whatever it was that I wanted to do. That made it hard on me, what if I was wrong, he came to live with us, and the tpr didn’t get fixed. I couldn’t think of that. I knew that God had let us be disappointed with D to have us wait for T. If we hadn’t been waiting for D, we might have had a placement that wasn’t right for us and wouldn’t have gotten T. And I have no doubts that T was the child that was meant for us!

I honestly believe that God has a child planned for each of us. Don’t get me wrong… I don’t think It was God’s plan for his birthmom to neglect him so that I could be a parent. But, I do believe that God placed us here to take care of T. I know, I know… hard to explain.

Anyway, our first meeting with T was WONDERFUL. I know it must have been scary for him, because he didn’t talk for the first 10 mins he was here, but he adjusted well, and very quickly. We had him for a few day and weekend visits, and then he moved in.

What a wonderful day that was…. for us. Let me give a little background here on T.

T was taken at birth and placed into protective custody. Mom got her act together for a while and got him back. Good for her. It’s obvious she loved him. Then when he was seven months, he was taken for neglect. His birthmother couldn’t overcome her sickness with drugs. A sad story I know.

He went to a temporary foster home for a few weeks, then they placed him in another one. This was with a wonderful family. She took very good care of him. When the plan changed to adoption she stated she couldn’t take care of him into adulthood, as she was elderly. But her daughter and son-in-law wanted to adopt. He was 4. So that homestudy process took time. He moved in with them in November, in the same family, but now living across the street. Not too much of an adjustment. The pre-adoptive father had an accident at work. They had previously adopted four other children, and now the father was barely able to walk, much less work. It was just too many stressors for their family. On the day that T moved in, his Mom wrote a letter to us, and I cried. I could tell they love him very much and they felt like they were losing a child. My heart went out to them.

That’s the sad thing for me about adoptions. Someone’s loss is someone else’s gain. And I can’t help but wonder what this loss will mean for T in the future.

So, we chose this child as our child, and our family is very supportive. He belongs to all of us now and more importantly, we belong to him!

The Leap of Faith

Well, we decided to at least go talk to them. We got all of his information and went home for the weekend. It seems the termination of parental rights (TPR) wasn’t correct. It listed his biological mother, biological father and a John Doe father. However, his mother was married to someone else when she had him and he had a “legal father”. This man didn’t want anything to do with his biological children, much less this one. When DSS contacted him, he wouldn’t even talk with them.

An amendment was filed to the original TPR and it would be a month before we would know if it was signed or not. So, do we take the risk at this time? After what we’d just gone through? It was a lot to discuss. This child also seemed to have a long list of diagnosis’. Could we handle it?

The talks continued for 5 days and then we had a 6 hour long discussion. This decision would affect our whole family. Our nieces and nephews would meet this child, fall in love with him, and then maybe he wouldn’t be available for adoption. We wouldn’t only be putting us at risk, but our whole family. What should we do?